Maybe if I publish it...

I'll have to follow through!

Soon, I hope to be a whole new person -- well, maybe just a whole new size. As of today, May 24, 2010 I am 185 pounds and wearing (squeezing into) a size 16. WOW! That was REALLY hard to type. I am the biggest I've ever been with the exception of being pregnant, but during those times I had the excuse of a baby being in the belly.

When I was pregnant with Braelyn, I gained 32 pounds. I went from 177 lbs to 209 lbs. Let me tell you that when I hit that 200 mark, I thought my life was over! How in the world would I recover from that?!? Surprisingly, I did. Of course, it never happens as quickly as one would hope.

By the time I got pregnant with Donny, I was down to 176 (I think.). With him, I never made it to the 200 mark...hallelujah! However, taking the weight off this time is MUCH harder. Maybe it's just the everyday stress (that sounds bad...but I can't think of a better word) of being a full-time working mother that keeps me from being able to take better care of myself.

Today, that all stops! I need to live a healthier lifestyle not only for me but for my family. I joined a gym back in January and have tried making a good effort to go regularly. Something ALWAYS comes up (you know like wanting to take a nap, going home to clean, etc.). There is always an excuse.

An old co-worker has truly inspired me. I've been bugging her lately with a LOT of questions. She went from a size 20 to an 8 in a year. She lost 70 pounds! If she can do that, surely I can lose a mere 20 pounds. No more excuses. My plan is to go to the gym at least 4 days a week. I went today, and according to my heart rate monitor, I burned 631 calories. That's more than I've ever burned in one trip since I started going to the gym in January! Not a bad start!

I plan to post more about this journey every week. Check back...and when/if you notice that I need some encouragement...PLEASE encourage away!

If I had a before picture, I'd post it...but I'm always the one behind the camera these days! :)

Is it just me?

Don't get me wrong. I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER give up my kids or family for anything! But sometimes I wonder, "Is it just me?"

After having kids, my social life was definitely put up on the top shelf where even I (at 5'10") can't reach it. Time with friends became far and few inbetween. I can't remember the last time I had a girls' night out. Sometimes, Often, I catch myself wondering if I even still HAVE friends.

Today was one of those days that I felt like one of the last friend relationships I feel like I have has fallen apart. Since going through her own life changes, I've suddenly been kicked to the curb. Maybe that wasn't her intention. Maybe she doesn't even realize she's done it. Or maybe she thinks I have enough on my plate already. Sometimes we I need to hear about another person's life as an escape from the realities of my own. (I guess that's the ever so curious side of me.)

Perhaps the answer for me is to join a playgroup or maybe even start one. This way we can go through life's ups and downs together -- and understand where we're all coming from since we're going through this journey of motherhood together.